Now I know this sounds a bit selfish, but I promise it’s not. Well maybe a little. But everyone deserves to be a little selfish, right? In my honest opinion, people are sometimes not selfish enough, and furthermore feel guilty doing so. This can lead to a whole slew of things like burnout, depression, increased anxiety, poor health, and the list goes on.

Also, welcome to 2021.

In the spirit of this new year, I have a very different mindset than the last. First being that I have absolutely NO expectations. And I mean zero. I am starting this year from the ground up and am taking it one day at a time. Which in turn, will hopefully allow myself to focus a little more on me. What does this actually look like?

I wouldn’t necessarily call these “new year’s resolutions” per se, more so focal points that I lost focus on in the year that shall remain nameless. So here we go:

Sober January. I have done it the past couple of years, and the cleanse has done wonders for my physical and mental wellbeing. I am successfully on day 5, as of today.
Rethinking nutrition. My husband and I are embarking on a 21-day “Real Food Reset” through a local nutrition coach. For the next 19 days (we started yesterday), we will be eliminating grains, added sugars, alcohol (which we had already decided on anyway), hydrating, and doing some form of movement for 15 minutes. I think the key here is not going absolutely bananas with everything. Did I get on the scale yesterday? Yes. Was it scary? Yes. Am I going to go through carb withdrawal? Yes. Sugar cravings? Yes. But It’s all about progress over perfection. It’s truly not about the number on the scale for me. It’s about feeling better, physically and mentally, and believing in myself enough to complete these 21 days. And yes we are eliminating things, but there is no calorie counting, which historically has made me go a bit insane. And we aren’t diving into these hour-long crazy workouts. 15 minutes of anything: a walk, lifting weights, stretching. I can do anything for 15 minutes.
Consistently asking for help. This is tough for me, because I am definitely the type to take everything on and Do. It. All. And yes, I may get it all done. But then what happens? I crash. I become irritable. I become resentful. I have a very short fuse that gets taken out on my kids and husband. Bottom line: it doesn’t all have to get done all the time. Ask for help.
Journaling. I know I am not alone in this – every time I write my thoughts and feelings, whatever may be on my mind, my anxiety levels instantly drop. It’s like I’m having a therapy session with my pen and paper. I get everything “off” my chest, onto the paper, and close the book, keeping the fears and worries in the form of words on paper, rather than thoughts in my head. This year, I am going to spend more time doing this, plain and simple.
“Me” time every single day. This is something I have struggled with over the past year. We give and give and give ourselves to everything to make the world turn. Our kids, our significant others, our jobs, our sorrows, our tragedies. And what is the first thing to go when all of these things are at the forefront? Me. (and you). Without spending time on ourselves, we slowly become unable to spend time on everything else. So, this “me” time can look like anything. It doesn’t have to cost money. It doesn’t have to be fancy. But it needs to happen. Encourage others in your family and friend circle to do it too, including your kids (a little tip I picked up in my last therapy session!) Kids need “me” time just as much as we do. I personally plan on spending some time on the floor of my closet journaling. It’s cozy and quaint, and if I’m super careful, no one can find me for a good 10 minutes.

There is a cycle here. A method to my madness. The more I focus on my physical health, the more it helps my mental health, therefore the more motivated I am to ask for help, journal, and ensure I have enough me time.

See? The me bead isn’t as self-centered as it initially sounded. It’s going to look different for everyone, but I encourage you all to identify five focal points for yourself. And in turn, your world will hopefully turn a little easier, a little happier, a little less stressed. And maybe, just maybe, 2021 won’t be half bad. But remember, no expectations 😊

Happy 7th day of 2020! Sounds so weird, but it has a lovely ring to it. As my four-year-old often says, “Howy, Mowy, Guacamowe!” We have made it to a new decade folks. And man does it feel good. To sum up our last two weeks of the year, the words fun, chaotic, overwhelming, whirlwind, and grateful are a few that come to mind.

Christmas is always action-packed for us, complete with a trip to Maryland to visit extended family and several rounds with our local families. It is always wonderful seeing and spending time with everyone, but throw in a sick kiddo, a few days of inconsistent sleep, and our preschool being closed, by the time December 26 rolled around, we were exhausted and ready for a reset.

Anyone else feel the need to become a minimalist right after Christmas? Like straight up wanting to live with a toilet and perhaps a bed. And maybe my computer. We are those people who fully enjoy October 31 as Halloween, but on November 1st, it’s Christmas. The tree goes up, the décor goes out, and we are ready for Santa. So by December 27, give or take a day, we are ready for it all to go away. This year, we spent about two days purging everything and anything.

Out with the old, in with the new. If we didn’t decorate with it this year, gone. If I hadn’t worn it in a year, gone. If I just flat out didn’t want to look at it anymore, gone. Seven bags for Goodwill and probably 15 bags of trash later, I actually felt lighter. My house looks bare, and I couldn’t be happier about it. Our toy bins are no longer overflowing. I can walk into my closet. Believe it or not, we currently have a completely empty drawer in our kitchen. Whoa.

I found myself thinking more about 2020 than I remember anticipating any other new year, getting excited for a fresh start. Just something about a new decade, I suppose. And with this new decade, I figured I would try something new. In years past, I have gotten in my head with all different types of “New Years Resolutions.” I put this pressure on myself that made January 1st a day for permanent change with no going back. I’m going to cut out sugar. I’m losing 25 pounds. I’m exercising every day. I’m going to meal plan every Sunday. I’m going to wake up 30 minutes before my kids to have some “alone” time. Blah blah blah and the list goes on. And when I found myself slipping up or not doing all of these things at the same time, I felt awful. Like an utter failure. So I would just say screw it and fall back into whatever habits I was doing on December 31.

But this year, I’m approaching resolutions with a different mindset. First off, I’m not going to look at them as “resolutions”. I want to live a healthier lifestyle, and I’m going to accomplish this little by little rather than eliminating or starting everything all at once. For each month of 2020, I am going to do something I wouldn’t normally do.

For instance, this month, I am partaking in “Sober January”. We all have the tendency to overindulge over the holidays, and while I had my fair share of fun, I’d like to change it up and give alcohol a little break. I’ve attempted Sober January before, but have never been successful. Reflecting back, I’ve discovered it’s because I set a bunch of other unrealistic goals that needed to be done all at the same time.

It’s a mental thing for me. Giving myself small goals where the finish line comes after 29-31 days is totally doable. And my hope is that I will develop some different habits, be more present in the moment because my mind isn’t thinking about 10 other goals, and overall become more intentional in the process.

The fresh start bead can look however you want it to look. Big or small. Colorful or plain. Perfectly round or funky in shape. However yours looks, I hope you feel good about it. There is no pressure. There is no right or wrong. A fresh start doesn’t even have to mean change. It can literally be just the start of a new decade. Either way, I think we can all be happy about having a perfect vision of what this year is going to look like. Get it? Happy 2020 everyone.